Here's Brian, enjoying a respite from all the insane news and intense decisions of the last couple of weeks. Except that there is almost no break from it. We arrived in New York on the red eye, got some more shut eye that morning, and headed into Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Care (MSKCC) around midday. It is a beautiful facility, but an absolute zoo compared to the office I came from in Seattle the day before. I'd take it if they could do the job. The job I wanted done hinged on the question of whether or not I could have one surgery or two. It seemed to me one major abdominal surgery is preferable to two. But, again, what do I know? In talking with different - not to mention very generous and helpful - people, it seemed worth a shot to sit down with whom many consider to be the best in this specialty and get their take. Basically, if these lymph nodes are operable this is the place to go after them. That's what I was counting on and that did not happen. The first words after, "Hello, Kathleen" were "you are not a candidate for surgery". The message was to get back to Seattle immediately and start chemotherapy. If the chemo was effective everything should shrink enough to make a single surgery possible sometime in the next few months. The doc at MSKCC referred me to a colleague at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. The next opening at SCCA was not until the following week and we made the decision to spend a few days in New York, where there was a considerable bluster in the air, to take our minds off what was to come. The process was about to begin bringing home the realization that I really have cancer. I no longer have to sort through information, or race around finding more opinions, or get to all my tests and appointments. Now I have one appointment with treatment and it's for cancer. Can you believe it?
So, back to what relaxation looks like now. This photo of Brian was taken the day after our trip to MSKCC. We planted ourselves on the beach because we thought we had passed over the time of panic and total confusion into some semblance of calm and order. But that day we learned again that our insurance - which we are scheduled to switch in the coming month - might have grounds to fight us on the basis of a preexisting condition. Nothing like a little stress on top of major stress. While the email that triggered this new possible cataclysm and the phone calls to follow were wholly unpleasant there was something also comical about Brian sitting with the insurance card and some sand between his toes taking names and assurances.
"I just want you to tell me it's going to be alright. Say that." I heard Brian say to the customer service person.
We encourage any readers out there to follow that same refrain. We don't consider it trite.
1 comments:
What a KEEPER! He is the best and you two are lucky to have one another. We love you! ~ Lori
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